Is this now in the realm of abuse?

IT has now been more than a year since the three Phillips children Jayda, Maverick and Ember went missing with their father Tom from Marokopa, for the second time.

A year of anguish for their wider whānau – not just their mother, who hasn’t seen or heard from them, and who shares custody with Tom’s parents, but also with their half siblings, aunts and uncles and others.

Nothing has been turned up, not by police, not by a private investigator.

And while he may well have gone bush to begin with, there is no way a young family can survive that long in some of the most unbelievable weather conditions the King Country has been subjected to in many years, in a bush setting without help; not without food, medical supplies, clothing for growing kids and of course, schooling requirements for such an extended period of time.

Because let’s not forget ever, every child in New Zealand is required by law to be schooled, whether it be at home or at a school.

And given all New Zealand agencies now work together, the police would have, or should have, cross referenced every agency by now.

One of these children is approaching an age where she needs help from women as she herself approaches that time when her body begins to change.

While I don’t take away from men who have had to try and stand in for absent mums in this, the few I’ve known have been ruefully thankful for the women they’ve known who’ve stepped up to the plate and helped as only a woman can with those changes a man can never know first-hand.

So I have to ask, as I know also police and others have.

Who has helped this man? And at what point has that “help” passed from siding with a mate, or a family member, to potentially being in a position where that help could well be aiding a position of abuse?

Because it is not physically or psychologically healthy for any child to not be able to socialise with either their peers or others, or to have access to their wider family, or to be cared for properly medically when needed, or any other of the myriad of things living in a community means for this length of time.

To not be allowed to be an active part of society.

I wonder how well these “helpers” are sleeping at night? Are they sleeping better than these kids?

And I wonder what lawbook pages can be turned to find out what such aiding and abetting charges can be laid if those children will be found to be in a less than healthy state of mind and body because of their father’s dogged inability to see past his own beliefs.

They just need to be allowed to come home. There is more than only one who loves them. And they need, more than anything else, to know that.